WHY ?? I just dont know why
following paragraphs were not supposed to be published i wrote them on word file to talk to my self but i think i should make it public for future me .so that the word file i wrote the questions i asked the way i described my self would be there for you future kyubhi .. either you laugh while reading it or cry it depends on me so hope you are laughing while reading byee
kyubhi- jan 23 monday 2023 6:34 Pm
Hey Future Kyubhi hope you are doing better than me cause I don't think I am doing anything correct in my life right now , everything I do I feel guilty about it and worst of all is I regret everyday I heard that we need to improve everyday in our life but if i compare myself to 7th class kyubhi I have gone down in my life idk why but ig my life has become a joke
It was not long ago when being a high school student fasinated me , It was not long ago when i enjoyed going school , it was not long ago when my life use to be random but still perfect ,it was not long ago when I use to try everything which came my way.. youtube , blogging , animation , editing , painting and what not , It was not long ago when I was the kid who liked maths ,who topped the class actually not top the class Till now I never top the class never had my ego fulfilled about being on top maybe that is why or idk why but my life has become utter bullshit at this stage i heard many people talk about my age saying my age is the most wonderful part of life but i am not sure that if worst part is yet to come and this is a start or i am different from people around me ofcourse I use to think i am different from everyone but in reality I am the 70% of kids who are my age who are not happy about their life
but why ?? idk why that is the reason i write this post cause i read it in my textbook that paper has more patience so maybe writing this blog might give a good felling might get some solution or maybe inspire you the Future kyubhi , if you think your life is going all bull shit right now then maybe by reading this you will know you also had bad time in 10th class just 15 years or maybe you might be worse
either way ,only I can save both of us -my future and your present depends on me but sorry to you i am not doing a great job in building your present i am being a dumb kid who sits on his chair morning does some useless shit which never matters and get up at night tired for no reason at all not work done no feeling of achievement and go to bed and sleep while thinking about how the day was wasted . idk how to put this maybe i am fooling my parents and above all i am daily every single day fooling my self i get up think of being a better person and then catch the same routine
why? idk why i just cant get answers i know what is right what is wrong ik all my problems but idk why just why i cant solve them even if ik the way to solve them i wouldnt idk why just why this happens
maybe your life is great for which i would be responsible maybe your life is miserable for which I will be responsible i have so many responsiblities idk why i dont do them as a human i need to do some basic thing to keep myself healthy / alive i fail to do the things if my mammi leaves me for one day i would not feel like a human idk why just cant get the answers why am i making good life bull shit when i can craft it like a diamond
never had these many things on my mind before .. i am so distracted the i could be writing a exam and be thinking about the reels i scorlled all day on the name of 10min mind refreshment
i have friends most of them are same the thing is its not that we have some real problem .. we dont on a wider aspect i have my freedom to a level where life is good , i have food , i have comfort , i have people , i have education but what is the problem that still we dont do what we want to do
JUSTT whyy
why cant I make i life a diamond instead of making it miserable just why seriously i thought my mind would spit out some point for question - why? but it doesnt so that means that idk who i am correctly it just tells me i am not aware of what am i doing how am i controlling my machine called body how will i reach my goals it just feels a bad dream at this point but it is the BUT IT IS TRUTH IT IS THE REALITY
BUT WHY ?? WHY IS THIS REALITY ?