the jee aspirant now

yes i am a jee aspirant now .. maybe not a good one though  i have not studied a single word from last 30 days or even more cause i was in village ( which is just a excuse) i could have studied there but i didnt which i regreat cause that one month of enjoy will cost me whole year of pressure so idk what i am doing right now  

i  must have studied i guess ,, now i have shit ton of backlogs which idk how i will complete ,, i should start but my procastination wont leave me or else i am not leaving it ,, harsh truth is i am not responsible which i should be guilty but no what i do is ntg just be a shit and do all the bad stuff i shouldnt do .. i need to get up and do smtg bruh i got 90.2% in 10th without studying but i doubt if i get a 60 in 11th even with studies cause i am a careless peice of shit 

now for coming i would need to plAN a way to complete the backlog but it so fucking tough........ 

9th july is my exam 10th july is my pt exam so yeah basically i am fucked syllabus is totally different in both places idk what i will do but i need to do smtgg let see

i got boon of oppurtunity to have all the best teachers i didnt utilise it one bit its not the time is over but its that my 1 month is wasted which counts a lot i am having a headache while writing this maybe i got to many thoguhts but what can i do now 

school is fucking bullshit time of waste ntg there is usefull i dont care if i fail in school examsss but i dont want to be baddd in front of teachers